It’s Smart to Ask for a ‘Spot’

When people are working out with heavy weight in the gym and are concerned that they might be unable to successfully lift it by themselves, get stuck under it and increase the likelihood of injury, they often will ask for a 'spot." That thinking and decision making is additionally intelligent outside the gym.

We can't always lift every heavy, burdensome weight in our lives. We weren't made to either. You know what we often do anyway? Try to lift and manage that too-heavy weight. Why, though?

Sometimes it's ego but usually it's because we don't want to bother anyone by asking or we're concerned about how people might react. Will they judge us? Will we feel "less than?"

There are more people than you realize who like to pr love to help others and enjoy being asked. You didn't know that, did you? Maybe that hasn't been your experience up till now.

Some of those same people who like to be givers of assistance interestingly enough prefer not to ask others for a 'spot' in life when they need it. A woman I knew years ago had a theory for this: there is power in helping or pleasing others so some people gravitate almost solely towards giving help and pleasure and not asking for it because we feel weaker about themselves.

Wow. Say what? By the way, she was talking about me at the time. Ok. Ouch.

The point? Sometimes it is smarter to set aside the ego, discomfort, uneasiness or fear or whatever it is we're thinking and feeling and ask for "spot," and allow someone to be our "spotter," with difficult challenges so we don't hurt get stuck or hurt ourselves.

Zero shame in it.

Science has proven that we don't realize how much people (if our intentions are honest) like being asked and helping. They may not always feel that way initially but eventually, they do.

So as long as you're not going to exploit someone, set aside concerns that you might be bothering them. You might very well be allowing them to feel good about helping and good about themselves.

Choose not to be overconfident in your ability to carry every heavy concern, anxiety or fear by yourself. Do be concerned with hurting yourself by not even seeking assistance.

Another woman once told me, "Don't say 'no' for other people. Let them do it (if they even do)." Another study says that people say "yes" more often than we imagine they will. True.

Most people are willing to be helpful and don't think a negative thing about you asking. And most anyone worth their salt, so to speak, will do the "right thing," and assist you if they can and you are really in need and being honest with them.

Same thing with professional services. There are people who are waiting and willing to be your spotter (watch over you) and spot you (help you in a protective manner) in a time of need or want.

So find your spotters and ask for a spot more often, maybe even today. You will almost always thank yourself and it will make asking next time far easier. You'll be smarter for making this a habit.

It will likely make you appreciate and trust others more and you'll become more likely to be a spotter yourself offering others a much-needed spot when they are in need. You might even come to sense that need before they ask.

Michael Toebe is the specialist at Reputation Quality, a consulting, advisory and communications practice which helps individuals and organizations with a variety of reputation ambitions and critical requests.

Contact: 316-226-4071 Michael.Toebe@Reputation-Quality.com