Strength to Admit the ‘Earned’ Unwanted Reputation

Shannen Doherty

Actress Shannen Doherty passed away from the effects of cancer. Years ago, in a moment of clarity she publicly shared a moment of great strength in reply to the consistent criticism she received.

I will get to that in a moment. First…

Jennifer Weiner just wrote a guest essay about Doherty in the New York Times defending Doherty and other well-known women in the entertainment business for their actions when they were young, communicating that they were normal and acting as young people do and thus, they were badly mistreated by the press and tabloids.

Weiner believed she identified the real problem, the root — which was men, not the criticized, mocked, exploited young women. Those are not Weiner’s words, to be fair. It was what was inferred.

In the piece, Weiner shared a Doherty quote from 2010 that was attention-worthy.

“I have a rep (reputation),” Doherty said at the time. “Did I earn it? Yeah, I did."

She asks a rhetorical question. She gives an honest answer. I’m not so sure that at the time she was saying it in an arrogant manner. I think it was more a realization that, “yeah, I was a mess with my attitude and behavior and I can see why people judged me in an unfavorable light and unwanted way.”

Many people may say that Doherty was being a strong person, a strong woman and that she and other women, especially those who were young, were not allowed to act as confident and aggressive as men. From media reports, it was more than that though.

Some of what Doherty’s supporters say — including Weiner now — might be factual and true. Also factual and true was that unprofessionalism was part of that “rep” that Doherty “earned.” Men may get away with much more on set and workplace. Or if you prefer, men definitely do get away with more.

Yet being unprofessional at work and wild away from it when you are in the public eye is going to get noticed and communicated. That’s sharp-edged reality.

Doherty however did what so many won’t do and that was she raised her self-awareness and social-awareness and decided to be honest with herself (a rare skill) and others in mentioning, even if for one moment in time, that maybe the thinking and behavior she chose in her young career was doing her no favors in the eyes, ears and minds of others, especially those for whom she worked.

That type of admission gets noticed. It’s rare and honorable.

And when it is combined with expressed understanding of the harmful effects on others, sincere remorse and sustained effort to correct the errors and personally-and-professionally develop, respect and trust can return.

Reputations can improve, sometimes significantly. Relationships will be better, maybe even healed. Opportunities can return, be held on to or newly presented.

It doesn’t usually come easy and quickly. Yet damage can often be repaired.

Michael Toebe is a specialist for trust, risk, relationships, communication and communication at Reputation Intelligence — Reputation Quality, assisting individuals and organizations in 1) further building those important points and 2) improving, protecting, restoring and reconstructing them when needed.

If you find yourself in need and “want” of assistance for serious, critical situations involving reputation, you are welcome to contact me personally 7 days a week, day or night at reputation.intelligence.rq@gmail.com, or through the form below or by calling 316-226-4071 (8 am to 9 pm CST).