Proving Resilient to Communicating Gross Lies Won’t Be Easy, Quick or Painless

Sherri Papini (image by Rich Pedroncelli/Associated Press)

Internet headline: Sherri Papini Will Plead Guilty, Admit Kidnapping Was a Hoax

Imagine that’s your name in the headline and in multiple places in newspapers and online, as well as on television. Imagine being the hot topic on social media in the moment and people negatively remembering your name, maybe years later.

Ow.

Christine Pelisek of People magazine writes about it.

“It was a hoax all along.

“More than five years after Sherri Papini claimed that she'd been kidnapped while out jogging in her rural Redding, Calif. neighborhood by ‘two Hispanic women,’ the 39-year-old mother of two is finally admitting it was all a fabrication.”

What specifically was a fabrication? “Papini's story began on Nov. 2, 2016, when she said she'd gone out for a run and was kidnapped by the two armed, masked Hispanic women, whom she claimed had tortured her, branded her and kept her chained in a bedroom.”

Pretty wild, absurd, offensive story, considering it was false.

Want to know the facts? “Papini had been voluntarily staying with a former boyfriend in Costa Mesa and had harmed herself to support her false statements.”

The authorities were not amused.

"The 22-day search for Sherri Papini and subsequent five-year search into who reportedly abducted her was not only taxing on public resources but caused the general public to be fearful of their own safety, a fear that they should not have had to endure," Shasta County Sheriff Michael L. Johnson said in the release.

Here’s what outcome that has resulted in, to date: “Papini, arrested by federal authorities on March 3, signed a plea agreement in which she will plead guilty to counts of lying to a federal officer and mail fraud.”

Papini has come to grips with the errors of her ways and has publicly commented about it.

"I am deeply ashamed of myself for my behavior and so sorry for the pain I've caused my family, my friends, all the good people who needlessly suffered because of my story and those who worked so hard to try to help me. I will work the rest of my life to make amends for what I have done."

The question is why lie and make up such a desperate, ugly story where you single out a race as criminal, lie as well to authorities at great expense to them when they fully invested in helping you?

Papini, to her credit, has now confessed that she is “deeply ashamed” and admits many people “needlessly suffered” because of “my story.” She also acknowledges that people “worked so hard to try to help (her).”

Sherri Papini (Image by Paul Kitagaki, Jr.)

Papini then said something very interesting.

“I will work the rest of my life to make amends for what I have done."

I suspect people will wonder and ask, ‘the rest of your life? Really? Or until people forget about it because they have better things to do?’ People might also wonder and inquire, ‘how specifically will you make amends; what will that look like and who will determine it is amends and is sufficient?’

Maybe Papini hopes this remorse, apology and promise will help her in the short term and people’s memories will be poor and she will be free again from judgment and pain. Yet making such a bold promise, abstract too, could backfire if she doesn’t live up to that promise in all ways and to the highest degree. How this promise will be guaranteed is a powerful question. Papini will have to answer with words, humility, courage, perseverance, self control and great compassion and detail. Can and will she do so?

Will she be able to accomplish this on her own? Possibly. Probably? Maybe not, because she may not realize the scope of the task and what critics, current and new, will expect from her. Are her actions forgivable? For many, probably. For all? Likely not. Will she be received well everywhere, in all ways and by all people in her life moving forward? No.

Of course, this doesn’t mean she won’t be received well some places, in some ways and by some people. I suspect she will. Yet there will be consequences to suffer and endure. There will be ongoing expectations for Papini to satisfy. That has to be on the ‘to-do list.’ She dug a very deep hole for her name, perception of it, reputation and well being. She didn’t act in a way, as we as people fail at too often, in conducting herself in ways that her future self would thank her.